How to Find Joy When Everything Seems Bleak

Can we do it with a broken heart? Probably! Maybe! Sometimes…

My oh my, well, don’t we live in the most unprecedented of times? I mean we just live alongside a 24/7 news cycle filled with anxiety-inducing things, the hustle of modern parenthood, a social media world that makes us sometimes feel that we have to be alert and reachable at all times, AND January feeling like it lasted 16543514561 days. It’s no surprise that so many of us feel blah, sad, devoid of our usual spark. Talking to friends and family lately it seems everyone is on the same dismal wavelength. Huzzah!

I’m no expert in joy - but maybe I am! - but if you are feeling those January (it’s over soon!) blues, global discomfort, the overwhelm of life, or just a true sense of the blahs, then here are some quick tips from someone who is constantly trying to light a small, joyful spark in the dark.

Seek Out Good News: Working in media relations and being a human who likes to be informed is sometimes at odds with feeling happy because of the constant barrage of news. So many headlines, so much bad, so many angry people fighting in the comments. So seek out the good stuff and create a balance. I try to stay informed without drowning in rage bait. Follow social media creators that make you feel good! Unfollow ones that ignite your imposter syndrome and make you feel less than! Split your news consumption in half - stay up to date on current events and then hop over to outlets like Good News Network to feel something more sunny.

Find Your Little Anchor Points of Joy: If I have life’s work it is to remind everyone to create tiny pockets of joy in their daily life. One of my best friends and I were talking about feeling blah earlier this week and I said I have made more of an effort than ever to create tiny, even cheesy things to look forward to. You know I’m a beverage goblin so I’ve started prepping a drink before bed that I can look forward to in the morning. A little peachy lemonade to start the day? I’m up and at ‘em! Sorry WaterTok haters. After I get my kids on the bus I light some candles, clean up the house for 10 minutes, and sit down/stand at my very satisfyingly clicky keyboard, put on a book, and work the day away in the most comforting way. Even when I’m SO stressed, I’m leaning into the little joys and creating pockets of happiness within my day even if they are teeny, tiny. I shared how my family keeps up a gratitude jar year round to remember the tiny moments we are grateful for and it is especially helpful when winter is wintering and my brain is like “PLEASE, SOME SUNSHINE. I BEG OF YOU.”

Move. I know, I know. Everyone is like move your body to feel better! But it is for real. Carve out time to take a walk - even for ten minutes or march in place if that’s all you can manage - to disrupt your weary muscles and focus your brain on a little endorphin rush. Need tips for more steppage? Molly has you covered.

Give and Get Help: Listen, it is the worst thing to be blue solo and it isn’t that misery loves company but sometimes venting to a friend or connecting over a shared (even crappy) experience can be so helpful and cathartic. Look into a therapist or other professional if you feel like you need it (we don’t do shame here!). Try to be responsive if a friend needs your ear or just be honest and say you don’t have the mental space right now in a kind way. I tell my kids to be the friend they wish they had and I stand by it. Let’s help one another.

Small Stuff: Do something good even if it's something really small. It is easy to feel helpless and lost during the unprecedented times we constantly find ourselves in so do a small thing. My youngest and I recently spent some time making Valentine’s Day cards for senior citizens in our community because I just wanted to do something good. Find a local group to volunteer a couple of hours with, go grab some canned goods and fill up your local free pantry, mail out some encouraging postcards to your favorite people as a fun surprise. Give good, get good…hopefully.

Lean Into the Suck: Sometimes the only way out is through and you just need to lean into the dreary feelings. Put on a sad movie, go for a drive and blast the most emo of emo playlists, or write out your rage in a journal. Get those feelings out and process through them because bottling them up never did a dang good thing.

We Love a Boundary, Honey: Repeat after me, “It is ok to say no when it won’t negatively impact me and my gut is saying no is the best option.” It is ok to opt out of plans with friends to stay in and veg out if you are overwhelmed. It is ok to take a break from that friendship that feels incredibly transactional or one sided. It is ok to say a big, ol’ no just because your gut is telling you to.

I recognize that it is a privilege to be able to curate joy and not pull an Artax and just sink into the Swamps of Sadness. It isn’t always as simple as doing the little things but maybe they will help and remind yourself often that joy is an act of rebellion. Looking for more insight? I came across this piece on Psychology Today and it has some great info. How do you maintain joy - or peace at least - in the dark times?

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